I should know better . . . (Part 2)

. . . than to shovel the snow! Yes, it has to be done, and my 11-year-old son is good about doing it, but we got a lot of snow, and I insist on helping, especially the part right by the street since we live on a busy street.  Now I’m paying for it.  Me + snow shovel = visit to the chiropractor.  And I still don’t feel great. I’ve been a bit stooped over all day.  Today when I was leaving my chiropractor’s office, he said, “Don’t forget, I’m closed tomorrow, but if you need to come in Friday, give me a shout.”  Translation: you aren’t going to feel better for a few days.  I go in to see him every couple of months, get adjusted, things are fine.  So him telling me that was a bit of a red flag.

I’m not a gal used to this much snow.  Where I grew up, we might see snow once a year, and it never stayed around long.  Then for over ten years I lived even farther south than where I grew up, and in that time I saw snow fall maybe twice.  There was never any accumulation.  There was ice one year.  That’s it.  So dealing with multiple snowfalls that stick around for weeks is something I’m still not used to, even after living here for 10 years.

I remember when we first moved here, and got that first snow, I wondered why people even bothered shovelling their driveways.  It’s all going to melt anyway, looks like a lot of work for nothing.  Then we found out that snow sticks around for a while here, and what you don’t move gets packed down, then it gets slick.  Lesson learned.  We got a snow shovel.  Then a couple of years later we divorced and he got the shovel. 

So when I needed one, I went to the hardware store and bought my own.  I didn’t put any thought into it, I just bought one.  I’m sure I bought the cheapest one, because who wants to spend money on a shovel when you can buy much more exciting things like shoes? But after watching my neighbors’ driveways melt and clear away after the sun came out today, I’ve about decided I should have a metal bladed shovel instead of this cheap plastic thing.  Mine doesn’t get down far enough so the concrete can warm up in the sunshine and melt away the last bits of snow.

So I shoveled and shoveled and now I’m achy, stiff, and stooped, and my driveway still looks white, while the neighbors’ driveways look clean.  Fail.  Why, oh why, do I even bother???

I should know better . . .

. . . than to say I have laundry under control.  Seriously.  Just when I think I’ve conquered it – BOOM!! – the laundry pile is suddenly a mountain that threatens to come crashing down on top of me if I don’t start up the washer pronto.  I know it’s never-ending, so why the heck I said it’s under control is beyond me.  I know better!! 🙂 

I think I’ll start of new category of “I should know better …”s.  I’ve got a bunch of them!  I’m a smart gal, at least in some areas, but sometimes I do make the same mistakes a couple of times.  The laundry comment is minor, yes, but let’s see what else I can come up with.  What about you?   Anyone want to share their own “I should know better” moments?  Names can be change to protect the humiliated. 🙂

Ahhhh, the weekend

Since I’ve been in corporate America for nearly a year and a half, after being a stay-at-home mom, then going to grad school, I’ve come to appreciate the weekend in an entirely different way.  I savor my weekends.  Of coure, there’s the anticipation that builds as the weekdays pass.  Thursday is especially delightful in knowing the next day will be Friday, and then . . . glorious weekend.  Fridays can be crazy busy at work, but I don’t let things get to me because I know in a few hours I’ll have two days entirely for my son and me.

And here it is Friday.  Lovely.  My son’s in bed.  I have a glass of wine, which I’m savoring also.  Breathe in the bouquet followed by small sips of utter enjoyment.  One glass.  Not enough to get tanked, but just enough to enjoy.  Fabulous.

I’ve been energized this week.  I feel like I’ve accomplished a great deal at work.  Tonight I started my weekend housecleaning that I usually start on Saturday morning.  I started laundry and already have that under control.  The kitchen’s in pretty good shape.  I’m feeling good about things.  I’m sure the nice weather we’ve had these past couple of days has helped.  The battle for spring is on.  Right now the warmer temps are in the lead, but winter’s going to do another smack down early in the week.  Back to frigid reality.  At least for a few days.  So for now, I’ll savor this warmer weather the way I savor my weekends and my wine.  One moment at a time.  Hope your weekend is enjoyable and you can spend some time with people you love.  Cheers!

Time flies

Has it really been over two months since my last post??? I know it’s corny, but it’s oh so true: time flies.  Next week it’ll be February.  Good Lord! 

I guess I got swept up in the holidays and end of year work busy-ness. (More like work craziness, but that’s another post!) Even though the holidays can be hectic, I’m finding that I love Christmas more and more.  That may seem like a strange thing to say, but when I look back at how stressful the holidays were when I was married, I’ve come a long way. It used to be all about making sure we made the rounds, my husband was cranky because he didn’t like us spending money, he didn’t know what he wanted to buy people, and ideas I would suggest would often get shot down. Even my own wish list would get shot down, and I’m not talking extravagant items either.  Wow. I don’t miss those days.

Now I’m still doing the holiday shuffle, making sure we visit who we need to, but for whatever reason I find more joy in the season. I love the festivities. Love to decorate. Love to shop. Not that I’m a marathon shopper, at all. If I pick up a gift or two at a time, I’m doing good. I guess maybe I’ve learned to pace myself. I know what my patience level is and I work with it. And for the first time, in probably my whole adult life, I was sad to take down the Christmas tree.

Public School Pest

When you think of pest, you probably think of a student, but in our case, I think it’s my son’s teacher.  He’s been complaining that she’s mean.  A few students have even cried, and these aren’t kindergarteners, they’re 5th graders —  Kiddos who are used to the school routine.  Except when your teacher is an intense 25+ year veteran teacher.  Normally I’d be grateful for an experienced teacher, but in this case, I don’t think experience weighs out.  I haven’t figured out if it’s just her personality, that she’s just abrasive, or if she’s burned out, or if it’s both of those and maybe more.

All I know is my normally happy-go-lucky little man has been stressed and anxious, and even crying at the thought of going back to school each day.  I called a meeting with the teacher and the principal, and I left having mixed emotions.  She’s definitely intense, and wanted to steer the focus of the meeting to what she wanted to talk about.  Definitely an overbearing personality.  We agreed to weekly phone calls.  Last night was the first of those.  I can’t say I feel any better about the whole situation. 

And she threw in a verbal slap in the face, saying she had heard that my son wanted to live with his dad.  I know for a fact this isn’t true, but what I don’t know is if she said that strictly as a jab, or as retribution for calling her to the principal’s office, or if she was digging for information.  Doesn’t really matter.  What I do know, is that as a mother and grandmother (as she told me she was) she knows full well the power behind her statement.  Shame on her.  I see thru her comment, but how many other parents has she wounded in her 25+ years of teaching.  Multiply that times ten and we might have a low-ball estimate of the number of students she’s traumatized over the years.

How is it that this woman still teaches?  I’ve been trying for a year and  half to get a teaching job and haven’t had any luck, but here’s this hateful woman interacting with innocent children on a daily basis.  It boggles my mind!

I’ve typed up an email to the principal outlining all of my concerns and requesting that my son be transferred out of her class.  I haven’t sent it yet, but I did send it to my ex-husband who was also in the meeting.  I want to see what he thinks about it, and I want to let it sit for a day.  I’ll look at it again tomorrow with fresh eyes and see if anything needs to be added or taken out.

It’s a stressful situation.  It’s so hard to see your child in misery.  So hard to drop him off at school each day knowing I’m sending him into such agony.  I know the school has a policy of class assignments being final, but in this case I think they have to make an exception.  He’s not focused on learning, and he can’t have a year of this level of stress.  I may be in for a battle, but they’ve got this mother hen riled up.

I know, I know

I haven’t written.  I’ve been licking my wounds in an attempt to recover from what I thought was my ticket out of this job, a new opportunity, the answer to my prayers. . . the interview went well, I got the job offer, I was excited.  And then the salary.  Are you kidding me?  It was lateral, at best.  What’s my incentive to move?  I countered, they came back with an additional $1k tacked on.  I was soooooooo upset.  I cried and cried.  I toyed with the idea of accepting, just so I could move on to something else, but that night I woke up twice in a panic, sitting bolt upright in bed, thinking What have I done?  So when I really got up in the morning, I knew no one was forcing me to take this position, that as much as I want out and want to move on, I don’t have to take whatever presents itself.  I can choose.

It was with much disappointment that I declined the offer, but not without beating myself up about it first.  Am I not “worth” a decent salary?  Did I somehow come off as a loser in my interview?  What did I do to rate such an offer?  I keep telling myself it’s not me, it’s this economy.  Employers know a lot of people are without jobs and will take whatever they can get to get by.  Heck, I’m in that situation myself.  I’m grateful to have  a job, but this isn’t what I want to be doing a year from now.  Knowing that, employers can offer lower salaries and see who bites.  That’s what I think anyway.  And someone will take that position and be glad to have it.  I’m happy for that person.  Now if I could just get my own little ray of sunshine in the job search. 🙂

While I was away . . .

It hasn’t escaped me that I didn’t make it back here yesterday after getting all fired up a couple of days ago and reassuring you that the blog was back.  One thing I should know, though, is that posting every day is quite a stretch.  I love to write, but my blog isn’t my only writing project, so I’ve got to divide my time.  Posting 2 to 3 times a week is my realistic goal, and I think it’s do-able.  I can do this!!

On a side note, while I was away, I got a spike is visitors on Sept. 11.  That strikes me as odd, since of course the first things I think of when I think of that date are the 9/11 attacks in NYC, DC, and PA.  Were more people just out looking for things in general on that day?  Maybe it’s just an odd coincidence.  At any rate, welcome.  I’m just getting back to my blog and haven’t quite focused things yet.  Sometimes I think I’m a child with ADHD and it takes me a little longer to focus.  Maybe I’m an adult with ADHD.  What was I saying?

Oh yes, that I’m back, but not on a daily basis.  Probably an every other day basis or a couple times a week.  Don’t want to wear out my welcome.  It’s Friday night, and I’m overjoyed.  I have a day job that I tolerate, and I relish in my own time with my son.  Total bliss.  I think I’ll have a glass of wine and call it a night.  Happy weekend!!

The Prodigal Daughter?

Testing.  Is this thing on?  I’ve neglected my poor blog.  We went on vacation, and once we got back, I got carried away by the minutia of life.  I didn’t forget my blog; I just haven’t made time for it.  And it shows in my everyday frustration.  Writing keeps me sane, whether anyone reads it or not, and having been away, I’ve been losing out on all those feel-good endorphins I get from clicking away on my keyboard.  Granted, I click away on my keyboard all day at work, but it’s just not the same. 

So, I’m reprioritizing.  The blog is back.  Or more accurately, I’m back at the blog.  I’ve got a million things I could cover.  I’m still on the job hunt, but recent offers have me questioning if all this effort is worth a lateral move.  It’s so frustrating.  I feel like upward mobility has completely stalled out.  Are other people having this experience or is it just me?  I have more education than I had 10 years ago, lots more, but looking at my salary, you’d never guess that.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job that keeps a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food on the table, and gas in the car.  But I want more.  I’m not extravagant, either; I’m just looking for more comfort and security.  Writing has always brought me comfort, so I’ve got to find my way back.  Have to find those precious few minutes when I can do what I love.  So, with the blog as a priority once again, I’ll plan on seeing you tomorrow.  Hope you’ve been well!

Follow-up on the Interview

You know the interview I mentioned here?  It turned out to be the strangest interview I’ve been on, by far.  It’s a small company and the lady whose 3^rd in charge is looking for her replacement as she moves on to different areas of responsibility in the company.  This is who interviewed me.  Several times she said, “Tell me everything you know about _____.”  I started by stating the highpoints, sort of putting things in a nutshell but not knowing what she was looking for, I asked her what aspect of this topic she was interested in, because frankly there are volumes written about these topics and the regulations change, etc.  She listened to me for a few minutes, but then  she told me how she was around “in the beginning” so she knew these things  inside and out.  Great.  But then she proceeded to question me this way on multiple topics.  “Tell me everything you know about ____.”  She also threw in some questions asking about what I’d done before.  I seriously wanted to ask the woman if she’d read my resume.  It clearly states what I’ve done and haven’t done.  But like I said, this was the strangest interview I’ve ever been on. 

She grilled me like this for an hour and fifteen minutes, and after I left and had time to mull things over, I started thinking this probably wasn’t a position I would want anyway.  I think the interview said a lot about her personality and her very high opinion of herself.  Granted, she’s probably very good at what she does and if I could tolerate the self-importance I could probably learn a lot from her, but I don’t think it would be an environment I would be happy in.  Oh well, easy come, easy go.

Back to Reality: or, more accurately, the post vacation blues

I’m back home now.  We traveled far.  We saw lots of scenery.  It was a grand adventure.  And I would share it with you in all its photographic glory, except I left my camera in Wyoming.  Yes, I set it down while watching a film on historic Fort Laramie and walked right off without it.  I didn’t know it was missing until somewhere in Nebraska.  (Chimney Rock, specifically.)  I tried not to panic, but we were on the homestretch of our trip.  Days of photos are on that camera, and these aren’t poses you can just recreate.  If they’re gone, they’re gone.  I tried calling the Fort, but was having trouble getting through.  Western Nebraska and my cell phone service weren’t mixing well.  I finally did get through, but by then they were closed.  I had a restless night.  I hoped that someone hadn’t decided they were the proud new owners of a digital camera.  Not that it’s special or really nice or anything exceptional.  But it held my memories of the trip thus far.

The next morning I groggily called the Fort again.  I was barely awake, sounded like a trucker who smokes two packs a day and hadn’t had her morning coffee, but I had to know if someone had been kind enough to turn in my camera.  Had I really left it at the Fort?  Or did I absent-mindedly toss it in the trash when I’d cleaned up after we had our picnic lunch?  Or did I leave it in the bathroom at the Bachelor Soldiers Barracks?  Where was it?  Would I get it back?  While we were at Yellowstone, I overheard my mother say to my father, “This might be our last time to be here” and those words stuck with me and haunted me as I wondered if I would have any photographic memories of this trip at all! 

I reached a real person that morning, who had me describe my camera, said it had been found and they would mail it to me.  Such relief!!  I wanted to cry.   That was a few days ago.  My camera hasn’t arrived yet, and I began to wonder if I dreamed the phone call, so this afternoon I called the fort again.  They assured me my camera was mailed and should be arriving soon. 

You may be wondering why we didn’t turn around and go back to get it, but we were several hours away and by the time we would’ve gotten there, they would’ve been closed.  Besides, who knew if it would even be there?  We just didn’t have that much time in our “budget” to backtrack that far.  I decided calling would be the most practical answer.

So now we’re back and I’ve been back at work two days.  They rearranged sections of the office while I was gone and now I have a nice corner cubicle with windows in front and behind/beside me.  I should be excited. Instead, I’ve got the post-vacation blues.  I’ve come to fully realize how much I dislike my job.  How mind-numbing and pointless it is.  Being there all day has me feeling like a caged animal.  But is it really my job?  Or is this merely a result of me being tired and road-worn and, as a result, less patient?  All I know is I don’t like feeling this way, and as trying as it could be at times traveling with family members who are used to a variety of schedules, I would take that any day over my day in the cube. 

Anyway, photos and stories to follow  as soon as I get my camera back.  I hope it’s soon!