Tag Archives: loss

Circle of life

Life is a funny/amazing/complex/convoluted/wonderful thing.  A gal I work with has gone on maternity leave and could very well at this very moment be laboring to deliver her baby girl.  I told her the other day that I wasn’t sure what it had been like for her, but it seems like her pregnancy has flown by.  And now baby girl is on her way.  Such exciting news and I’m so happy for her.  This is the 2nd child for her and her husband.  They have a toddler also, so once her 12 weeks maternity leave is up, she’ll be returning to work just two days a week.  I have to admit a slight pang of jealousy.  Not about the two day a week work week, but yes that would be lovely too, but I remember those days at home with my son.  Such fond memories.  I’m so thankful to have my son, but I always thought I would have more children.  It hasn’t worked out that way, and there are moments when I grieve for what could have been.

Then reality smacks me in the face with a reminder to be grateful for all I have.  I work for an insurance company and today one of the groups I handle notified us of the sudden, unexpected  death of an employee who wasn’t even 40 years old.  I started gathering the necessary paperwork for her family to file a claim on her life insurance, and the enrollment form she had signed was dated exactly one year before the day she died.  To the day.  It gave me chills. 

We have no guarantees.  Babies are born, people die.  That’s every day’s business.  When we’re born a few people rejoice; when we die a few people grieve, but in either scenario the world keeps moving.  I guess the big decision is, How do you choose to fill the in between?

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Filed under babies, birth, children, death, life, loss, memories, motherhood

Life is Fragile

This evening my son and I went on a walk, a really long walk.  He was on his bike, and I walked our dog.  We were gone for an hour and a half or two hours.  He’s such an outdoorsy boy.  Tonight I got to see what a big, compassionate heart he has.

We were on our way back home when he told me he was going to ride ahead and then come back.  He got too far ahead of me though, and I couldn’t see him, but I finally caught up with him and I could see his chin quivering.  My first thought was that he must’ve fallen off his bike.  I asked what was wrong and he said he saw a dead bird.  We had seen a dead bird when we were walking to the park earlier, so I assumed that’s what it was.

Later, back at our house just before he was going to bed, he said he saw a big black bird pecking on a smaller bird and the smaller bird was bleeding.  He tried to shoo the black bird, but it kept coming back, so he searched around for something to throw at it.  When he came back and threw a stick at the black bird, he said the injured bird died right in front of him.  He cried.  He was so upset, and said it reminded him of Ollie, one our cats, when he died about a year ago. 

My sweet little son.  So heartbroken over the loss of that small little life.  So tender-hearted that even the pain of a little bird makes him grieve.  It’s a small ripple, but life is altered when you realize the nearness of death.  As a parent, it’s hard to see my child hurting, but at the same time, I’m proud of his compassion & caring. 

Flowers for the little bird

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Filed under children, death, motherhood, parenting, the kiddo, Uncategorized