I haven’t written. I’ve been licking my wounds in an attempt to recover from what I thought was my ticket out of this job, a new opportunity, the answer to my prayers. . . the interview went well, I got the job offer, I was excited. And then the salary. Are you kidding me? It was lateral, at best. What’s my incentive to move? I countered, they came back with an additional $1k tacked on. I was soooooooo upset. I cried and cried. I toyed with the idea of accepting, just so I could move on to something else, but that night I woke up twice in a panic, sitting bolt upright in bed, thinking What have I done? So when I really got up in the morning, I knew no one was forcing me to take this position, that as much as I want out and want to move on, I don’t have to take whatever presents itself. I can choose.
It was with much disappointment that I declined the offer, but not without beating myself up about it first. Am I not “worth” a decent salary? Did I somehow come off as a loser in my interview? What did I do to rate such an offer? I keep telling myself it’s not me, it’s this economy. Employers know a lot of people are without jobs and will take whatever they can get to get by. Heck, I’m in that situation myself. I’m grateful to have a job, but this isn’t what I want to be doing a year from now. Knowing that, employers can offer lower salaries and see who bites. That’s what I think anyway. And someone will take that position and be glad to have it. I’m happy for that person. Now if I could just get my own little ray of sunshine in the job search. 🙂
It hasn’t escaped me that I didn’t make it back here yesterday after getting all fired up a couple of days ago and reassuring you that the blog was back. One thing I should know, though, is that posting every day is quite a stretch. I love to write, but my blog isn’t my only writing project, so I’ve got to divide my time. Posting 2 to 3 times a week is my realistic goal, and I think it’s do-able. I can do this!!
On a side note, while I was away, I got a spike is visitors on Sept. 11. That strikes me as odd, since of course the first things I think of when I think of that date are the 9/11 attacks in NYC, DC, and PA. Were more people just out looking for things in general on that day? Maybe it’s just an odd coincidence. At any rate, welcome. I’m just getting back to my blog and haven’t quite focused things yet. Sometimes I think I’m a child with ADHD and it takes me a little longer to focus. Maybe I’m an adult with ADHD. What was I saying?
Oh yes, that I’m back, but not on a daily basis. Probably an every other day basis or a couple times a week. Don’t want to wear out my welcome. It’s Friday night, and I’m overjoyed. I have a day job that I tolerate, and I relish in my own time with my son. Total bliss. I think I’ll have a glass of wine and call it a night. Happy weekend!!
Testing. Is this thing on? I’ve neglected my poor blog. We went on vacation, and once we got back, I got carried away by the minutia of life. I didn’t forget my blog; I just haven’t made time for it. And it shows in my everyday frustration. Writing keeps me sane, whether anyone reads it or not, and having been away, I’ve been losing out on all those feel-good endorphins I get from clicking away on my keyboard. Granted, I click away on my keyboard all day at work, but it’s just not the same.
So, I’m reprioritizing. The blog is back. Or more accurately, I’m back at the blog. I’ve got a million things I could cover. I’m still on the job hunt, but recent offers have me questioning if all this effort is worth a lateral move. It’s so frustrating. I feel like upward mobility has completely stalled out. Are other people having this experience or is it just me? I have more education than I had 10 years ago, lots more, but looking at my salary, you’d never guess that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job that keeps a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food on the table, and gas in the car. But I want more. I’m not extravagant, either; I’m just looking for more comfort and security. Writing has always brought me comfort, so I’ve got to find my way back. Have to find those precious few minutes when I can do what I love. So, with the blog as a priority once again, I’ll plan on seeing you tomorrow. Hope you’ve been well!