I guess I’ve been in a whirlwind, but I realized The Bachelorette is off an running without me. Thanks to Hulu, though, I just watched episode one. Looks like it’s going to be an action packed season! I’m going to get caught up on the episodes, but for now . . . Bachelorette Emily gets to hand out the first impression rose, so I thought it would be fun to record my own first impressions. The beginning of the episode showed profiles of a few of the men, so I’ll just start there and then go thru the remainder as they were introduced to Emily.
Kalon – my first thought was that he isn’t as much past his womanizing days as he thinks he is. I had already decided he was a “NO” before he ever showed up in the helicopter, but I guess there always has to be someone we love to hate. We’ll see if my first impression changes.
Ryan – works with kids, has a dog. I’m impressed! Let’s see if it lasts.
Tony – has a son which is good, but also bad since he lives in Oregon. Clearly, Emily doesn’t want to leave Charlotte, so would Tony relocate there and be on the opposite side of the country? I’m a parent, so this doesn’t make me think highly of Tony. I’m calling this one a “NO” also.
Lerone – I didn’t have much of an impression one way or another about him until they showed him with his little dog. It just didn’t seem to fit him and didn’t give me a clearer impression of who he is. My thought was “Iffy . . . at best.” But then he was eliminated at the rose ceremony.
David – a singer/songwriter who said songwriting comes easy to him, that it’s a “rush of emotion.” For whatever reason, that red-flagged him for me as not being the strong male figure Emily should be looking for. He, too, didn’t make it past the rose ceremony. That didn’t surprise me.
Charlie – was involved in a balcony collapse accident wherein he sustained a brain injury. Nothing to scoff at. I recall years ago several people dying in that same type of accident. Beyond that, though, I didn’t catch much about him. Seems sweet, but will need to step it up.
Jef – I’ve never seen Jef spelled with one “f” but I’m trying not to let that cloud my judgment. He looks like he could be Justin Bieber’s older brother. I’d already pegged him as a “NO” (too immature), then he rode up on a skateboard while catching a ride on the back of the limo. Good grief. Playing with your toys doesn’t impress a woman. Not this one anyway. Maybe he impresses Emily. He made it thru the rose ceremony, so we’ll see how long he makes it. Emily said he’s “super cool” and she feels like a nerd. If he continues to be “super cool” and she doesn’t feel special, he’ll be gone. Watch out.
Arie – a race car driver. I didn’t have a good take on him, but an interesting thing happened. He asked Emily if she was ok with him being a race car driver. She paused a moment and said, “Yeah.” But as she said it, she was shaking her head no. Body language experts would argue that she was lying! Hmmm. . . we’ll just have to see how it plays out.
Sean – insurance agent from Texas. Cute, but other than that, not a major impression on this one. He made it past the rose ceremony, so we’ll see.
Doug – he’s a self-proclaimed hugger from Seattle, Washington, with an 11 (almost 12) year old son. He’s likable, but I stand by my earlier argument that he has a child and lives on the other side of the country (so . . .NO! Unless his child’s mother isn’t in the picture at all. In that case, more power to him. Go wherever.) Doug’s son wrote a letter to Emily that tugged at her heart strings. Doug got the first impression rose. Well played.
Jackson - fitness model who got on one knee and dove into the cliche “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” One word Jackson: cheesy!!! He was clearly a NO, from the get go, and not surprising, didn’t make it past the rose ceremony. Stunned that he’d been given the boot so soon, he pointed out that Emily was missing out on a great body and proceeded to remove his shirt and show off his “great body.” Your 15 minutes are up, buddy. Next.
Joe – jumped out of the limo shouted “EMILY!!!” I think he was a bit too enthusiastic. Emily looked a bit scared. He made it past the rose ceremony, but I don’t expect him to last long.
Kyle – didn’t make much of an impression on me.
Chris – didn’t make much of an impression either, but as he walked away, Emily said, “So sweet.” Maybe there was something edited out that impressed Emily. Later, he pulled out two bobble heads, one of him and one of Emily. They had a Barbie-like conversation. Who knows about this one.
Aaron – Biology teacher – I thought the horn-rimmed glasses were a prop to accentuate his educator-status, but later he still had them on. Makes him look a bit nerdy. Not very impressed with him.
Alessandro – “You’re real! . . . That’s how we do it in Brazil.” What? Are people often not as they seem in Brazil? I’m confused. Couldn’t help chuckling, though, that he spoke to her boobs. Eyes up here, Alessandro. Let’s see how long Emily puts up with that.
Stevie – Party MC – like Jef, I think he’s too immature. He introduced himself with a handshake, so I don’t think he’s up to the challenge. He made it past the rose ceremony, but believe me, he’s not the one.
Randy – got out of the limo dressed as a Grandma, stooped over using a cane. How is this supposed to attract a mate??? Needless to say, he didn’t make it past the rose ceremony.
Nate – didn’t make much of an impression, but this is another one where Emily whispered “So cute” as he walked away. Keep your eye on him. He’s a contender.
Brent – I thought his gimmick with the name tag was cute, but then when he sat down with Emily, he said he had 6 kids. I thought it was a joke, but when he didn’t make it past the rose ceremony, he broke down saying that he probably wouldn’t find love since a man his age with 6 kids blah, blah, blah. So it’s no joke. Wow. My questions is whether or not he’s divorced or is he a widower? That wasn’t mentioned. Either way, Emily wants to build a family, but that would be instant family. It may not be easy, but I think Brent can find someone. Surely there’s a woman out there who wants kids. It’s just not the right situation for Emily.
John “Wolf” – walked confidently up to meet Emily. My question is “Why do your friends call you ‘Wolf’?” Maybe that will come out later on. Other than that, not much of an impression.
Travis – brought an ostrich egg as a symbol of Emily and Ricki and how he’s going to take care of them. Sort of reminded me of Kasey from Ali’s season (I think) who was going to “love and protect your heart.” Not a good comparison though. Sorry Travis! He was the last to receive a rose, so we’ll see how long he lasts. Is the egg hanging out all season? That thing will smell awful if it gets cracked. Yuck.
Michael – what’s with the 1990s hair? He’s “Music Mike” from Austin. Possibly a Stone Gossard wanna be? I don’t think he’ll last too long.
Jean-Paul – doesn’t know much about her, which I thought might be refreshing, but apparently not. This divorced gent didn’t make it past the rose ceremony.
Alejandro – I’m going to get him confused with Alessandro. Shame on me. Anyway, he and Emily carried on a brief conversation in Spanish. We’ll see if anything gets lost in translation.
So that’s the skinny on the bachelors. My one complaint is this: I’m going to go nutso if Emily continues to say, “I know, right?” I know “everyone” says it, but isn’t it soooo last year?? And am I the only one annoyed by that phrase?
The previews for this season show Emily getting downright explosive at someone who refers to her daughter as baggage, and not only does Emily cry, but so do several of the bachelors. Looks like it’s going to be an interesting ride!